Dear Mom,
Anne called earlier to tell me that she found an 'In Memoriam' listing for Joanie Farrow in the high school alumni bulletin. A little research later, we found out that she had, in fact, passed away several years ago. She had married that guy she brought to North Carolina and they did move there as they had said they might. We still don't know the cause of death, but Anne agreed that if it wasn't a direct result of her old problems, it was probably an indirect one. She was only 57...
I know you're not remotely surprised, and I don't even know if you're that sad. Being me, my mind drifts to the great times, the crazy stories... Christmas morning, Joanie arriving with a big basket of gifts, joining you at the coffee... all those plays she treated me to, my first time at Sardi's... at some party or another at the house, her decision to give me my first driving lesson, and running her car into a snowbank because she was drunk. You weren't sure which one of us to kill, quite similar to the time I had the opportunity to treat her to the theater - Richard Burton in Equus - which turned into lunch with drinks, post-matinee drinks, dinner with drinks, and her getting us tickets to see Katharine Hepburn on Broadway (terrible play, but... Hepburn!) and then closing down Joe Allen's while I fed quarter after quarter into the best jukebox ever... she drove us both home and you were furious. I think I escaped execution only because I was younger - though not too young to know better - and because to this day I can count the times I've gotten really drunk on one hand.
I was mad at you when Joanie decided not to come to my wedding (because her father would be there with his new wife) but eventually realized I was really angry with her, for choosing her wounded feelings over such an important day for our family. Wounded was, in fact, a good word for her all along. Her story is one of sadness and waste, of anger and hurt, but also of generosity, warmth, imagination and impulse.
I love her. I know you do, too.
Again, no jokes today. I haven't lost my sense of humor, just... put it aside a little.
Love,
b
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