Dear Mom,
Yeah, bet you're dying to read this after that heading...
Anne and I were talking today about the current political climate and I mentioned that I had a rant brewing and would likely write to you today, and that led to her telling me about Mary questioning how I could live in Arizona under the circumstances, and Anne told Mary that A) I was fighting the lonely fight here and B) I really loved the climate, the mountains, the people and my job.
I pointed out that Pima County isn't responsible for the right wing mess that is our state government - we didn't vote for Governor Brewer and our US Representative, Gabielle Giffords, is not only a Democrat, but a truly awesome person who is honestly dedicated to public service, listens to all her constituents, not just the ones who voted for her, and does her best to represent her district in DC.
Later on, I was working on my laptop - writing an application essay, looking for a quote to use in my American History slides, waiting for yet more football - when my friend Dee in Texas IMs me about how terrible 'it' is. What's 'it'? I ask. And she tells me that Gabrielle Giffords was just shot in the head.
Which, contrary to my original reaction, turns out to be true. Shot through the head at point blank range, and maybe sixteen others, and six are dead, including a nine year old girl and a Federal Judge. The lone gunman was tackled by a bystander and taken into custody - his YouTube 'manifesto' is the work of a lunatic - no surprise.
The media has been disorganized, to say the least. Two sources declared her dead, and this was only negated an hour later when the Chief Trauma Surgeon made a live press statement saying that she was alive and he was 'optimistic'. No two networks/sites seem to have the same information at any given time.
It happened at the Safeway supermarket about four blocks from our place. I shop there fairly often and had I known that Rep Giffords was doing one of her regular 'Congress at the Corner' meet and greets, I'd have tried to be there. Fate is strange and random.
There's a lot of breastbeating and "Why? How did this happen?" but few wish to acknowledge the role of hate-fueled rhetoric, demonization and finger pointing, an 'us vs them' mentality that disdains the very sort of compromise and 'reaching out' that was Rep. Giffords' hallmark. When will we learn? When will we accept that if you yell out enough venom in public discourse, someone will go ballistic?
I'm so shaken up I don't even know how to express myself properly. I haven't felt like this since 9/11, not that I'm comparing the two events, just the sickness in my stomach and the grief for the innocents.
Love,
Barbara
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Dear Mom - Anne Francis
Dear Mom,
Carolyn left me a voicemail today about some plans we'd made, ending with the note that an actor you never heard of named Pete Postlethwaite had died. So when I got online I checked it out - I had heard of him and thought he was very good, also a bit young to be dead - and then, further down the page, saw something that really startled me.
Anne Francis had died, too. At eighty, which is a lot more reasonable.
But I don't know if you'd have remembered this, but I had a huge thing about Anne Francis while she was on "Honey West" - I wanted to be her, I wanted the pageboy hairdo and the beauty mark. Hell, I wanted Honey West's ocelot, Bruce! And Joanne Mahoney and I formed our own 'detective agency', with Joanne playing April Dancer from "The Girl From UNCLE". We called it April and Honey, Inc - I wanted to call it Honey and April, of course, but Joanne said it sounded too much like a throat lozenge. I wore a leotard as often as possible and we slinked around 'spying' on people. I don't know how long it lasted - we weren't very effective.
I stopped wearing the leotard after awhile; it took longer to stop trying to force my hair into a pageboy. But I always liked her and would usually watch her whenever she showed up on television.
As Kurt Vonnegut Jr used to say, And so it goes...
Love,
b
Carolyn left me a voicemail today about some plans we'd made, ending with the note that an actor you never heard of named Pete Postlethwaite had died. So when I got online I checked it out - I had heard of him and thought he was very good, also a bit young to be dead - and then, further down the page, saw something that really startled me.
Anne Francis had died, too. At eighty, which is a lot more reasonable.
But I don't know if you'd have remembered this, but I had a huge thing about Anne Francis while she was on "Honey West" - I wanted to be her, I wanted the pageboy hairdo and the beauty mark. Hell, I wanted Honey West's ocelot, Bruce! And Joanne Mahoney and I formed our own 'detective agency', with Joanne playing April Dancer from "The Girl From UNCLE". We called it April and Honey, Inc - I wanted to call it Honey and April, of course, but Joanne said it sounded too much like a throat lozenge. I wore a leotard as often as possible and we slinked around 'spying' on people. I don't know how long it lasted - we weren't very effective.
I stopped wearing the leotard after awhile; it took longer to stop trying to force my hair into a pageboy. But I always liked her and would usually watch her whenever she showed up on television.
As Kurt Vonnegut Jr used to say, And so it goes...
Love,
b
Friday, December 24, 2010
Dear Mom - Happy Birthday?
Dear Mom,
So it's your birthday, and of course you are more on my mind than usual. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about your last birthday. For one thing, at the time I was kind of annoyed with you because you were so clearly in terrible pain, but you refused to go to the hospital because you 'didn't want to spoil the holidays'. As if the fact that you were in such pain and exhaustion that you couldn't even go to Anne's on Christmas Day wasn't kind of putting a damper on things? Certainly for you, at any rate, since you ended up with me, Michael and Mozart on the CD player. But now I realize that you knew you were dying and you wanted whatever you could get in the way of being around your family for one last round of Birthday/Christmas stuff.
Sometimes I'm a slow learner.
Something else I remember - you were so sick and had no appetite, but asked me to make a white lasagna and chocolate cream cheese pie anyway. And I gave you a decent portion of lasagna - not by Nanna standards, but still... - and a modest wedge of pie. And you ate it all! That made me really happy. Not just because I'm vaguely narcissitic, but that you could take just enough pleasure in food to enjoy it...
Things are going pretty well here. I never got into the whole crazy estrangement Carolyn and I went through over the last few months - you'd have told me you didn't care, except that I was upset - but we're pretty close to fine, now, but each with her own brand of mild wariness. I'm about to call Aunt Mitzi, since I imagine today is rough for her. She really misses you.
I'm a total child when it comes to Christmas, but the excitement with which I dive into it these days feels different than when I was an actual child. The presents are lovely but I get so energized just by the spirit of the season. I don't care if you're Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim or a tree-worshipping Druid (are there other kinds of Druids?) - there's something about this time of year that's special. I had to run a few errands this morning and actually enjoyed it. Part of the pleasure was walkking around the stores singing along with the Christmas music and smiling at everyone, even striking up a few conversations. I met a young man at AJ's, clearly sufferibg from something like Down's Syndrome, who gave me a cheerful hello, and when I returned it, told me his name, his age, and offered me his hand, which I took, while giving him my own name. As his father ushered him along I heard him say, "I was making a friend!" Yes, Robbie, you were.
I forgot to tell you about Thanksgiving, which we spent with Ruthie and Bill - you'd have loved them, Mom, they're very real and warm people, but no BS allowed. Anyway, I kept insisting that I was going to bring something, and finally Ruthie said I should bring something from our own family's traditions - I consulted with Anne and she suggested a chocolate roll. This was perfect, as it really represented both sides of the family - your mother invented it and you kept it alive, and Dad loved it. So did Ruthie's guests! Mine aren't proper works of art but I think they pass taste tests.
I'm going to sign off now. Will try to keep up more regularly.
Love, always
Barbara
So it's your birthday, and of course you are more on my mind than usual. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about your last birthday. For one thing, at the time I was kind of annoyed with you because you were so clearly in terrible pain, but you refused to go to the hospital because you 'didn't want to spoil the holidays'. As if the fact that you were in such pain and exhaustion that you couldn't even go to Anne's on Christmas Day wasn't kind of putting a damper on things? Certainly for you, at any rate, since you ended up with me, Michael and Mozart on the CD player. But now I realize that you knew you were dying and you wanted whatever you could get in the way of being around your family for one last round of Birthday/Christmas stuff.
Sometimes I'm a slow learner.
Something else I remember - you were so sick and had no appetite, but asked me to make a white lasagna and chocolate cream cheese pie anyway. And I gave you a decent portion of lasagna - not by Nanna standards, but still... - and a modest wedge of pie. And you ate it all! That made me really happy. Not just because I'm vaguely narcissitic, but that you could take just enough pleasure in food to enjoy it...
Things are going pretty well here. I never got into the whole crazy estrangement Carolyn and I went through over the last few months - you'd have told me you didn't care, except that I was upset - but we're pretty close to fine, now, but each with her own brand of mild wariness. I'm about to call Aunt Mitzi, since I imagine today is rough for her. She really misses you.
I'm a total child when it comes to Christmas, but the excitement with which I dive into it these days feels different than when I was an actual child. The presents are lovely but I get so energized just by the spirit of the season. I don't care if you're Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim or a tree-worshipping Druid (are there other kinds of Druids?) - there's something about this time of year that's special. I had to run a few errands this morning and actually enjoyed it. Part of the pleasure was walkking around the stores singing along with the Christmas music and smiling at everyone, even striking up a few conversations. I met a young man at AJ's, clearly sufferibg from something like Down's Syndrome, who gave me a cheerful hello, and when I returned it, told me his name, his age, and offered me his hand, which I took, while giving him my own name. As his father ushered him along I heard him say, "I was making a friend!" Yes, Robbie, you were.
I forgot to tell you about Thanksgiving, which we spent with Ruthie and Bill - you'd have loved them, Mom, they're very real and warm people, but no BS allowed. Anyway, I kept insisting that I was going to bring something, and finally Ruthie said I should bring something from our own family's traditions - I consulted with Anne and she suggested a chocolate roll. This was perfect, as it really represented both sides of the family - your mother invented it and you kept it alive, and Dad loved it. So did Ruthie's guests! Mine aren't proper works of art but I think they pass taste tests.
I'm going to sign off now. Will try to keep up more regularly.
Love, always
Barbara
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Dear Mom - Escape from Reality
Dear Mom,
Sorry I didn't get back to you right after the election, as promised, but I've been taking some time off from facing it. Which doesn't change anything, of course. We are still in a state of madness or, more properly, the State of Arizona. People voted, for the most part, in a state of fear, which I rarely find useful. We did manage to save two very good Congresspeople, but so narrowly that it was worrisome. I mean, when you have an opponent who wants to eliminate the corporate tax, install a Value Added Tax, and completely eliminate the US Dept. of Education and all federal money for education - at a time when your state ranks #49 in education - and he almost wins, what do you make of that?
Still... when I called Anne election night to congratulate her on Andrew Cuomo's victory in the Gubernatorial race, she pointed out that in the long run, nothing much is going to change in our day to day lives, and the more I thought about that, the more sensible it seemed. It doesn't mean we shouldn't vote, or that we shouldn't try to effect change, it just means the world is highly unlikely to end tomorrow, no matter how lunatic the fringe.
And I find that oddly reassuring.
Jerry Brown was elected Governor of California again. Everything old is new again.
Love,
b
Sorry I didn't get back to you right after the election, as promised, but I've been taking some time off from facing it. Which doesn't change anything, of course. We are still in a state of madness or, more properly, the State of Arizona. People voted, for the most part, in a state of fear, which I rarely find useful. We did manage to save two very good Congresspeople, but so narrowly that it was worrisome. I mean, when you have an opponent who wants to eliminate the corporate tax, install a Value Added Tax, and completely eliminate the US Dept. of Education and all federal money for education - at a time when your state ranks #49 in education - and he almost wins, what do you make of that?
Still... when I called Anne election night to congratulate her on Andrew Cuomo's victory in the Gubernatorial race, she pointed out that in the long run, nothing much is going to change in our day to day lives, and the more I thought about that, the more sensible it seemed. It doesn't mean we shouldn't vote, or that we shouldn't try to effect change, it just means the world is highly unlikely to end tomorrow, no matter how lunatic the fringe.
And I find that oddly reassuring.
Jerry Brown was elected Governor of California again. Everything old is new again.
Love,
b
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Dear Mom - T-Shirt
Dear Mom,
Saw a t-shirt today that made me want to call you:
"I like cats, but I can't eat a whole one myself"
Talk to you tomorrow, after the election.
Love,
b
Saw a t-shirt today that made me want to call you:
"I like cats, but I can't eat a whole one myself"
Talk to you tomorrow, after the election.
Love,
b
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Dear Mom - The Dead Psychic Octopus
Dear Mom,
As you may or may not have heard, Paul the Psychic Octopus has died. No, really. He evidently predicted all the World Cup matches last year, including Spain's surprise final win over the Netherlands. German soccer clubs are reported to be 'devastated' by his death.
I am not making this up.
Nor am I making up the prevalent political climate, with the founder of the World Wrestling Foundation running - credibly - for Senate in Connecticut, another Senate candidate (this one in Utah) questioning whether 'separation of church and state' actually appears in the First Amendment to the Constitution, the baby daddy of Sarah Palin's grandchild musing for the press about whether he'll vote Democrat or Republican (he also considered running for Mayor of Palin's hometown, I guess on a Platform of 'why not the jerk?')...
But Anne and I are convinced that our states are currently the most insane. She got in a good one, when she referred me to the NY Gubernatorial debate. The Republican candidate took a quick bathroom break in the middle - just walked offstage. One candidate seems to be running on the simple platform of 'Rent is too high'. Which even Andrew Cuomo agreed is true. Then there's Kristin Davis (no relation to the very pretty actress who used to be in "Sex and the City," which you never watched anyway) Ms. Davis, running as an 'independent', is a former madam. She got most of the laughs, including when she answered a question about the MTA by pointing out that she only kept one set of books for her brothel, and her customers got on time service.
I still think Arizona wins. This may be the only state where even the Tea Party may not be radical enough, where raping the education and child services systems is accompanied by calls to destroy the Department of Education, where the Republican candidate for Treasurer was responsible for the widespread failure of a number of regional Coldstone Ice Cream franchises, and where the opposition to our sitting Congresswoman, Gabrielle Giffords, likes to refer to her almost exclusively as 'Gabby' in a condescending tone. Where the current state head of Education, tom Horne, runs for Attorney General so that he can continue his focused, personal attacks on the Tucson Unified School district and anyone else who has the nerve to have an Ethnic Studies program. Where the Governor rants about 'beheadings in the desert' and, when told it's a myth, simply continues her endorsements of racist profilings and raids - and, when someone questions her health, has her spokesman say, "That's not relevant, she's fine, and by the way, Terry Goddard's gay!" Which... does it even matter that he's not?
Saw a bumper sticker the other day: "Don't Criticize Someone Till You've Walked a Mile In Their Shoes: That Way You're a Mile Away and Have Their Shoes". It seems right for the times.
My Victorian/Edwardian proposal cleared a major hurdle - the Curriculum Committee unanimously approved it, with special praise for its 'professionalism'. It felt good.
Through a loopy series of coincidences I was put back in touch with Peter Williams, who you may or may not remember from our New Bern days. He was a very sweet, intelligent, artistic young man who hung around the store, helped out when needed, and bought a wide range of books. Now he's married, teaching writing and film courses in Pittsburgh, and just as sweet and smart. It was a joy to catch up with him. I told him you had died and he was terribly sorry - remembered you well. When I mentioned that you had always liked him, he laughed and said, "Thanks... when it came to your mother, I was never sure if she did."
I told him we all felt that way sometimes!
Love,
b
As you may or may not have heard, Paul the Psychic Octopus has died. No, really. He evidently predicted all the World Cup matches last year, including Spain's surprise final win over the Netherlands. German soccer clubs are reported to be 'devastated' by his death.
I am not making this up.
Nor am I making up the prevalent political climate, with the founder of the World Wrestling Foundation running - credibly - for Senate in Connecticut, another Senate candidate (this one in Utah) questioning whether 'separation of church and state' actually appears in the First Amendment to the Constitution, the baby daddy of Sarah Palin's grandchild musing for the press about whether he'll vote Democrat or Republican (he also considered running for Mayor of Palin's hometown, I guess on a Platform of 'why not the jerk?')...
But Anne and I are convinced that our states are currently the most insane. She got in a good one, when she referred me to the NY Gubernatorial debate. The Republican candidate took a quick bathroom break in the middle - just walked offstage. One candidate seems to be running on the simple platform of 'Rent is too high'. Which even Andrew Cuomo agreed is true. Then there's Kristin Davis (no relation to the very pretty actress who used to be in "Sex and the City," which you never watched anyway) Ms. Davis, running as an 'independent', is a former madam. She got most of the laughs, including when she answered a question about the MTA by pointing out that she only kept one set of books for her brothel, and her customers got on time service.
I still think Arizona wins. This may be the only state where even the Tea Party may not be radical enough, where raping the education and child services systems is accompanied by calls to destroy the Department of Education, where the Republican candidate for Treasurer was responsible for the widespread failure of a number of regional Coldstone Ice Cream franchises, and where the opposition to our sitting Congresswoman, Gabrielle Giffords, likes to refer to her almost exclusively as 'Gabby' in a condescending tone. Where the current state head of Education, tom Horne, runs for Attorney General so that he can continue his focused, personal attacks on the Tucson Unified School district and anyone else who has the nerve to have an Ethnic Studies program. Where the Governor rants about 'beheadings in the desert' and, when told it's a myth, simply continues her endorsements of racist profilings and raids - and, when someone questions her health, has her spokesman say, "That's not relevant, she's fine, and by the way, Terry Goddard's gay!" Which... does it even matter that he's not?
Saw a bumper sticker the other day: "Don't Criticize Someone Till You've Walked a Mile In Their Shoes: That Way You're a Mile Away and Have Their Shoes". It seems right for the times.
My Victorian/Edwardian proposal cleared a major hurdle - the Curriculum Committee unanimously approved it, with special praise for its 'professionalism'. It felt good.
Through a loopy series of coincidences I was put back in touch with Peter Williams, who you may or may not remember from our New Bern days. He was a very sweet, intelligent, artistic young man who hung around the store, helped out when needed, and bought a wide range of books. Now he's married, teaching writing and film courses in Pittsburgh, and just as sweet and smart. It was a joy to catch up with him. I told him you had died and he was terribly sorry - remembered you well. When I mentioned that you had always liked him, he laughed and said, "Thanks... when it came to your mother, I was never sure if she did."
I told him we all felt that way sometimes!
Love,
b
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Dear Mom - Political Nihilism? Or Just More Nuttiness?
Dear Mom,
Further signs of the oncoming apocolypse - or maybe just random awfulness or silliness: First of all, understand that in Arizona, we looove our ballot initiatives. There's always several to consider, and plenty more that don't make it because of insufficient valid signatures or other matters of parliamentary procedure. This year they range from a proposition to legalize medical marijuana to one that regularizes the succession process when a governor does not complete a full term - something that, for some reason or another, happens an awful lot here. In the last thirty years or so, three governors were removed for illegal or corrupt activity, and two left to take on other jobs - most recently Gov. Janet Napolitano was asked to become Pres. Obama's Director of Homeland Security. (I would think it's hard to say 'no' to the President of the United States). It happens that in Arizona there's no Lieutenant Governor - if the Governor 'cannot complete his/her term', the Secretary of State steps up. Which is fine, except for two things - you end up without a Secretary of State for at least some period of time and, more crucially, the Secretary of State, for some reason, is almost never from the same party as the Governor! This is, in fact, our current situation, with the lovely Jan Brewer. Just about everyone on both sides of the political spectrum agrees that it would be a good idea to regularize this situation.
But wait, don't order/vote yet! There's a couple of other points in the proposition that are giving some of us pause. 1) the Secretary of State position would basically cease to exist, with its actual duties parcelled out to other offices. 2) Any Gubernatorial candidate on the state ballot would also have to have a Lt. Governor of the same party. This has created quite a storm, and accusations that the backers of the proposition are trying to stifle third party activity, since often smaller parties have trouble coming up with such a candidate. The other POV here is that if you can't find someone to run for LT Governor, maybe you're not ready for the big time...? Anyway, it's a mess.
But that's not the reason for the heading on this letter. The other day I was driving to work when I saw the usual array of signs along the road: Vote for Him, Keep Her in Office, Vote for This Proposition or Face a Lonely Death, Send That Proposition Back to Hell Where It Belongs, etc... when I saw a new one: Vote NO on All Ballot Propositions.
Just Say No. Not to drugs. To everything! Whatever they propose, say no to it. It does have the advantage of efficiency. And I have to admit, some of them are pretty bad - the ones giving the State Government the power to raid early education and public land funds to balance the budget - while some are just silly. But No to Everything? Pre-emptively? That's pretty nihilistic.
Or maybe just politics as usual in our fair state!
Love,
b
PS. Reading a book you'd have loved - Queen Consorts, which traces British History through the political, personal and social/cultural impact of every Queen Consort from William the Conqueror's Matilda (btw - lots of Matildas in medieval history - to Elizabeth of York's marriage to Henry VII.
Further signs of the oncoming apocolypse - or maybe just random awfulness or silliness: First of all, understand that in Arizona, we looove our ballot initiatives. There's always several to consider, and plenty more that don't make it because of insufficient valid signatures or other matters of parliamentary procedure. This year they range from a proposition to legalize medical marijuana to one that regularizes the succession process when a governor does not complete a full term - something that, for some reason or another, happens an awful lot here. In the last thirty years or so, three governors were removed for illegal or corrupt activity, and two left to take on other jobs - most recently Gov. Janet Napolitano was asked to become Pres. Obama's Director of Homeland Security. (I would think it's hard to say 'no' to the President of the United States). It happens that in Arizona there's no Lieutenant Governor - if the Governor 'cannot complete his/her term', the Secretary of State steps up. Which is fine, except for two things - you end up without a Secretary of State for at least some period of time and, more crucially, the Secretary of State, for some reason, is almost never from the same party as the Governor! This is, in fact, our current situation, with the lovely Jan Brewer. Just about everyone on both sides of the political spectrum agrees that it would be a good idea to regularize this situation.
But wait, don't order/vote yet! There's a couple of other points in the proposition that are giving some of us pause. 1) the Secretary of State position would basically cease to exist, with its actual duties parcelled out to other offices. 2) Any Gubernatorial candidate on the state ballot would also have to have a Lt. Governor of the same party. This has created quite a storm, and accusations that the backers of the proposition are trying to stifle third party activity, since often smaller parties have trouble coming up with such a candidate. The other POV here is that if you can't find someone to run for LT Governor, maybe you're not ready for the big time...? Anyway, it's a mess.
But that's not the reason for the heading on this letter. The other day I was driving to work when I saw the usual array of signs along the road: Vote for Him, Keep Her in Office, Vote for This Proposition or Face a Lonely Death, Send That Proposition Back to Hell Where It Belongs, etc... when I saw a new one: Vote NO on All Ballot Propositions.
Just Say No. Not to drugs. To everything! Whatever they propose, say no to it. It does have the advantage of efficiency. And I have to admit, some of them are pretty bad - the ones giving the State Government the power to raid early education and public land funds to balance the budget - while some are just silly. But No to Everything? Pre-emptively? That's pretty nihilistic.
Or maybe just politics as usual in our fair state!
Love,
b
PS. Reading a book you'd have loved - Queen Consorts, which traces British History through the political, personal and social/cultural impact of every Queen Consort from William the Conqueror's Matilda (btw - lots of Matildas in medieval history - to Elizabeth of York's marriage to Henry VII.
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